Originally Posted by
azkatz 
Am I being unrealistic? Can I continue to see him and hope that he kicks his habit on his own or am I supposed to give him his space to figure things out all on his own?
Maybe he has a 'habit', and maybe he's an alcoholic. There's a huge difference.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease. It only gets worse, never better, if left untreated.
The drinking is only a
symptom of alcoholism.
You see, my disease is threefold-physical, emotional/mental, and spiritual.
If I don't address all three areas, I will not maintain sobriety on a long-term basis.
I know this because I relapsed after four years in recovery.
I also have a 32 year old daughter active in alcoholism/addiction, and that is her choice.
I no longer take a front seat to her insanity.
Her choices have nothing to do with me, and everything to do with her disease. I don't take it personally anymore.
I'd highly recommend educating yourself on the disease of alcoholism. See if you can't get your hands on a copy of the book "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie. Check into Alanon meetings in your area so you can find face-to-face support as well as posting here at SR.
I was also married to an active alcoholic/addict, and I had to walk away from that marriage in order to save my own sanity, and for my safety.
That man is dead now. As I said before, it's a progressive disease.
I hope you continue to post, and know that you are among friends.
