Hi Azkatz and Welcome to SR,
When he is not drinking he is the man I am so in love with. I still can't see myself being with anyone but him. I just can't live with the drinking when he isn't able to contain his anger.
I struggle with this one too and I have been married to my AH for 22 years. I wish I had the same insight as you that early on in my relationship, to know that you cant live with the anger and outbursts and protect yourself from what could be years of the same. I say good for you, respecting yourself enough to protect yourself.
I can tell you that I didnt have this insight and during the first few years of marriage, when i was in my early 20's, I can still remember the times my AH would come home from a night drinking and start emotionally verbally abusing me whilst I lay next to him in bed crying myself to sleep. My self esteem suffered and it is only now after 22 years of this, that I have finally said enough is enough.
There are two famous quotes I think of sometimes, the first (One Flew Over Film) is where the man says 'she makes me want to be a better person'. I love that and wouldnt that be great, a dream. My husband recently told me that he was chosing alcohol over our 22 year marriage, what a kick to the old self esteem is that. The other quote which is much more suitable to me is from Lady Dianna when she said 'there were 3 of us in the marriage, so it got a bit crowded'. Much more suitable!
You are doing well, just wanted to let you know.