Only you can decide what you are willing to live with. We all have our "breaking point" and you obviously haven't yet reached yours. It doesn't sound like much of a loving relationship to me, but then, I'm not the one living with it. People have all different reasons for staying together. As an adult, you have the right to do what you want and so does she. If you can live with it, then that is your choice. Just know that you cannot change her and I think using the kids as a carrot is just wrong. Children are not pawns to be used in relationships. To do so can end with disastrous results.