Here, I'll have a go at translating:
I know you mentioned a one week time frame which certainly is your prerogative, however love doesn’t wait.
I respect your wishes, except I don't.
I don’t mean that facetiously.
I know big words. Also I have the need to say I'm honest. So you know I'm honest.
When I saw you leaning over your journal diligently writing, wearing your beautiful dress with you elbow bent focused and writing in earnest, I stood and stared at you forever. I didn’t want to approach you and alert you to my presence because I knew that the moment would end.
I'm creepy.
I have identified quite a “character flaw” in my character, i.e. addiction. I have acknowledged it and believe it or not, am addressing it.
Better not believe it.
I wouldn’t have ended up in the “ward” if I didn’t know there was a problem. However, I do believe, contrary to yours, your sister’s(s), and clearly popular opinion that I can both carry on a beneficial interpersonal relationship and work on my sobriety.
I like "sarcastic quotes." Also I'm a misunderstood rebel. Also--I know big words.
See… the dialogue, writings and basis for much of the dogma supporting “rules and guidelines” of “getting sober” that today’s expert’s utilize is clearly in question on many levels. There are no obvious answers.
See above re: maverick.
Look at the simple statistics from Alcoholics’ Anonymous. AA does not supply names, but they do supply plenty of demographics and numbers to better understand the disease. AA’s success rate is a variance of 2.6 to 3.5% based on a 5 year timeframe and those statistics diminish as those timeframes are extended. Needless to say, other supplied defining stats are even less hopeful. I will not allow myself to be defeated by myself or any outside influence - for that matter. I will utilize outside education but to a level that I deem effective. So when AA says you shouldn’t be in a relationship for the first year of sobriety, I question their wisdom and efficacy because in the end, who really knows. We have empirical studies, but that is all that psychology, substance abuse education, and the like can be based on. The individuality of human nature is such that most every diagnosis in the DSM-IV of psychiatric disorders includes a NOS moniker, aka “unspecified” referencing the fact that the clinician cannot give an accurate specific determination of the particular individual’s condition or possible outcome. Thus we are talking psychology and psychiatric medicine as an art and clearly not a science.
I know how to cut and paste from Wikipedia. Also, I like to use--sorry--utilize statistics the way a drunk uses a lamp-post: for support rather than illumination.
The individual who responded to the concerned girlfriend in the email that you had me read spouted quite a few of the AA clichés and if that works for him, more power to him. Once, again, I will accept portions of such programs, but am intelligent enough to know myself and my underlying deceits to tailor a more specified program that best suits my needs and situation, and will hopefully give me a much higher chance of success.
I think sobriety is for losers and dumb people. Also, I'm intelligent. You can tell because I've told you so.
I guess you could go out with a guy who only drinks tea…then you’d know for sure. That was an LOL.
You'll end up with a nerd if you don't go out with me.
Clearly, I can’t force you to do anything you don’t want to do nor would I want you to.
See above re: creepy.
You are an independent and thoughtful woman and I love you for that. If I have lost you, then I will take that as a very strong lesson learned. But believe me and understand this in no uncertain terms, I am much more in control of my life than you or I would have you believe. What I have done is make supremely poor choices on many an occasion. For this I apologize to myself for shortchanging who I could and can be and certainly to you for hurting you in quite a number of ways. You have been nothing more than an innocent victim who has been nothing but generous with her mind and heart. Your kindness and caring will never be forgotten.
Maybe if I keep writing you won't notice that I'm not taking responsibility for anything.
Your wisdom is noteworthy and I’m telling you now that any time I make a reference to you being 21 yrs old, it is nothing more than a cheap shot and total ********. It is also nothing more than a diversion from any valid point that you are attempting to present and I truly apologize for that.
I'll generously try to refrain from mentioning that I know better, because I'm older.
Once again, I agree with the direction that you believe that I need to take; I simply disagree with you in the way about getting there. I believe I can get there with you by my side better than if you are not.
I want to keep drinking and I want you to quit mentioning it.
Either way, I will get there. I would love you to be there because my great joy is hearing your laughter, seeing your smile, and feeling your warmth. Should you not be there to provide those things, I will always have them in my mind’s eye as they won’t be forgotten.
You have to take care of me.
PLEASE CONSIDER A FACE TO FACE DIALOGE WITH ME
IF ALL ELSE FAILS, START SHOUTING
JACK
Butthead