I understand the temptation of trying to figure out exactly what the problem is so the two of you can work on it. But, honestly, it doesn't matter unless
both people in the relationship want to work on it. From what you've described, she is not interested in working on it at all. This is not uncommon in alcoholics, actually I'd venture to guess it is the norm.
So, the only thing for you to sort out is whether you want to continue the relationship
as it is. I spent quite a few years clinging to an option that didn't exist, all because the choices I really had were both unattractive to me. In a situation like this, the choices are to stay in the relationship and accept it the way it is, or get out. The false option of "working on things" or "getting the other person to see the problem" doesn't exist.
One of my favorite bits of Alanon wisdom is "Awareness-->Acceptance-->Action." I put the arrows in between because you have to do them in order. The fact that you are here signals Awareness. Most of us want to jump right to Action because we haven't yet accepted that we can only change ourselves. So, for now, I wouldn't worry too much about what to do. Instead, work on accepting that she is who she is and there is nothing you can do to change her. Once you can accept that, the action will become clear all on its own.
L