Let me get this straight:
She DOESN'T want your blessing to go out and get blotto. She'd rather have you be the disapproving wife EVEN though she'll just go on drinking her into an early grave.
While we're at it, let's play this tape ALL the way forward. I'm going to suggest that you research the long term repercussions of heavy drinking. Perhaps others on the F&F board can come and chime in about what it's like to live with someone who's health has been damaged by years of heavy drinking....brain damage, liver cirrhosis, dementia are just a few that are popping into my head. I'm sure others will add their 2 cents to my short list.
Ask yourself right here and now if you're willing to watch your life go by as she commits slow and painful suicide, or if you're willing to become her nursemaid as she slowly lets go her hygiene, and you have to clean up pee, vomit, excrement, and all the while, she is drinking and drinking. Or will you have to bail her out of jail for various DWIs?
This is alcoholism. It's a progressive disease.
You mentioned having children. Are you willing to subject your children to a toxic home environment because you love HER so much? What about them? Don't they deserve a sane and healthy environment to live in? And what about your wife's children? Let's push the timeline even further...imagine your children, grown up, and married to a man or woman who treats them like your wife treats you...
I'm not saying you should save the world. That's a Codie's Dream and it's impossible. But just for a moment, consider the LONG TERM ramifications of just standing by her while she does this to herself, to you, to your children, *because you love her*.
There comes a point--at least for me--where *love* wasn't enough. Or rather, I loved myself MORE than I loved him.
You *DESERVE* more than what you're getting out of this marriage.