first off...*hugs*...what a nightmare to have to live through.
second, WELCOME TO SR! This is an awesome place to find support. I hope you keep coming back and keep reading/posting.
Third, try to remember the 3 C's of addiction:
You didn't CAUSE it
You can't CURE it
You can't CONTROL it
Nothing you do, say, don't do or don't say will change your wife's addiction. You simply don't have the power. The only thing you do have power over is yourself. So, tell us, what do you want for yourself? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? How will you get there?
Fourth, please read this classic reading sticky. When I first read it, I thought it had been written specifically for my XAH (ex alcoholic hubby):
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...lics-make.html
Finally...have you considered going to Al-Anon to get some face to face support?
Please keep posting. SR is always open!