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Old 09-29-2010, 03:01 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
naive
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,059
hi crystal-

i'm delighted you are going to get a break. that's a wise move. i went to my mother's house for a month when in a similar situation. my advice to you, based on that experience is:

1. go no contact with AH while you are there. i didn't and i regret it because all of a sudden, mine became the most attentive, loving partner phoning numerous times a day. this was not helpful to me sorting out my own feeling.

2. go to meetings. i went often, just to keep my focus on myself and my recovery.

3. be open. i was an absolute wreck by the time i showed up at my mom's (3000 miles away) and all set to be absolutely miserable. the look of delight on my mom's face when i appeared was enough to cast all that away. we had a great time, making projects, clearing out her closets, even having a yard sale.

4. be prepared for all the emotions you have been holding in to come out. once i was in a safe place, i had the luxury of time to reflect without chaos, my emotions went up and down and sidewards. it's a process, let it unfold. you don't have to make any decisions right now...just take the time to clear your head.

who knows what your time with your parents will bring...

naive
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