I understand and very much appreciate all of your input. This means the world to me. I feel I have no one to talk to about this. I'm a very respected professional woman in my community and never dreamed this would happen to me in my adult life. And here it is.
I have found myself lying by omission to his family and my friends when we have events to attend and ABF is not in attendance. I just don't give a very clear answer. The truth is, he's either too drunk to drive or he's getting that way.
I have participated in this sickness by driving him when he couldn't.
He is usually only functional about 3 hours per day, and he plays chess with my child every day. My child will miss this very much, since my chess playing ability is lacking at best. My child is a Chess Team star at school.
My ABF is a good man and he has a warm, loving heart. He has good values and beliefs! These are stifled lately, and it's hard to watch.
Because I'm an ACoA, I swore my child would not have to live the life I did as a child. This is what is keeping me so strong in my resolve. My child deserves all the successes ahead without these ugly distractions. My mother, the ultimate codie in my life, knows there's something 'up' and is getting on my nerves with her superiority on this situation. She didn't have the nerve to leave my father until I was well into college. She doesn't even remember most of my childhood because she was so wrapped up in my father and his sickness.
I have lots of resentments about alcoholism. Lots. I am generally a nice person, but I can feel bitterness creeping in, and it's not the pretty I like to be.
About calling his mom and/or aunt...I'm concerned he will not leave as he says he will and I will not call the police to have him removed (I think he knows this). I thought by calling one of them, since no one knows what's going on, might help him get out. Are there any options for gently getting him out of the house?
I am a low-drama person and will not put my child through any unnecessary stress.