Originally Posted by
nodaybut2day 
Perhaps the issue of your departure just isn't up for discussion with your AH. Perhaps you will just line things up and leap...and tell him later.
Yeah, that's what my instincts are telling me to do.
See, I like to imagine this conversation in which I say, "I'm hurt enough to seriously consider leaving!" and he responds with this great epiphany: "Why, akrasia, has it really gone that far? In that case I'll sober up, etc. etc. etc." And then everything will be lovely. Hey-ho.
But what will most likely happen is that I'll say, "Unless you sober up today I'm leaving for a while because I need a safe place to live," and then ('cause he's drunk) he'll come out with a bunch of garbage about how judgemental people are, and conditional love, and also I'm a horrible person. And then I'll just want to kick his butt. So why bother?
I don't want to divorce him. What I want is for him to be free of alcoholism and for us to live happily together again. I just can't go on living in an unsafe house with someone who's verbally abusive and putting himself and others in danger. It's a promise I made to myself during his last (worst) binge.