It kinda depends on the "social" doesn't it? My ex A loved going to the pub with other drinkers, but around family and friends and not in those "drinking" situations he would feel uncomfortable and would rather stay home alone.
I remember many Christmas at my parents being ruined because I was so caught up in how he was feeling, how he was going to drink, how he was going to hide it, what time he wanted to go home. I could never just relax and enjoy myself.
Once I detached I started spending Christmas at my parents with my daughter and asked
A to go home to his parents so that I could actually enjoy the day.
It's also one of the reasons I became a little anti-social. Whenever my friends would visit he would be on edge, anxious, hiding his drinking. It was embarrassing so I stopped asking my friends over or answering the door if they called.
I can relate to most points, especially the instant gratification and the transference of addictions. When he stopped drinking alcohol, he suddenly became obsessed with tea (so much so we would go through 16 pints of milk a week), obsessed also with computer games, then photography and then "shopping". Or rather he would have his mother shop for him. Once he got something into his head that he "needed" he would need to have it "right now". So he would work on his mother or me, plant the seed, hint...basically manipulate the arse of his Mum until he got what he wanted. Then within a week he would need something else NOW. Never satisfied...always wanting. Drove me nuts.
God, makes me tense just thinking about it!!!