Can't believe how much this hurts
It has been just about three weeks since AH came to pick up stuff and told me "You don't know how many times in the past 2 yrs I wished you had died in a car accident. " I never responded and have not had any contact.. My question is why can't I stop obsessing/analyzing.....Is it because even though i told him I would no longer live this way..I really didn't expect he would totally leave me alone and move on to another girl. We were together for 30 years...So now I am thinking maybe it wasn't the alcohol maybe he was over me???? Why am I torturing myself...how can he seem to be moving ahead and I am lucky to go an hour or two without thoughts of him, pain and sadness. Am I still in denial?? I can live with this and I won't break no contact but I am almost tired of myself....What can i do to turn off all the what ifs?? Thanks, feel like I am regressing.