hi akrasia-
it's really common for alcoholics who abstain for a while to think they can now become casual drinkers. it's part of their denial. but they can't be casual drinkers.
i totally relate to the somersaults in your stomach just waiting for the other shoe to drop. it is not a nice way to live. and the fact that he is trying to convince you that it will be fine if he starts drinking again tells me that you are not out of the woods.
it sounds like you want to leave but feel that since he is currently sober, you are "obligated" to stay. but you know what? it's your life. you don't have to stay if you don't want to.
it sounds like a very unhealthy, stressful environment for you. time to take care of yourself. you could always get that apartment, move out, get some peace and see how his sobriety goes. that way, you are out of the front line and can focus on healing.
oh, and regarding therapy here in the uk, i waitied ONE YEAR to get my first appointment after my GP wrote out the prescription. i hope your wait is less than mine was, but you might want to explore some alternatives in the meantime, like alanon or even open AA meetings.
take care now,
naive