This is an interesting discussion for me because it brings up an issue that I never knew existed within myself. That is the difference between intellectual learning and emotional learning.
The signals and stereotypes were very clear in my family of origin. The whole wife is subservient to husband, children (especially girls) should be seen and not heard, etc. I remember when I got to be in my teens, I was exposed to other opinions. Feminism, equality, all those things that were not a part of my upbringing were suddenly available to me in terms of beliefs and opinions. And I embraced them wholeheartedly, forsaking the 1950's mentality of my parents.
What I didn't realize until just a few years ago was that despite my intellectual rejection of the sexist attitudes of my childhood, I had absorbed much of it on a subconscious, emotional level. It was a huge AHA for me because it explained much about why I "believed" one way, yet behaved in another--especially in my marriage.
L