Dolly - I do to with the eternal mother thing. And the treating the husband like another child etc etc. In fact, I have to bite my tongue in many situations. But I do it because of my boundaries and my respect for their boundaries.
I think non-emotional is good. The fact that you are questioning it is interesting. Are women supposed to be emotional when we impose boundaries? Surely that just feeds into the "crazy bitch" steroetype. Or if we aren't emotional, then are we "mean" or "stuck up"?
This is not just a recovery issue, people.