I guess having a wife at home begging and pleading for a crumb of attention or affection didn't constitute making him feel wanted enough.
What I realized after I ended my relationship with my alcoholic boyfriend was subsisting on crumbs didn't make me feel wanted enough. I won't subsist on crumbs any more.
So my first instinct was to actually stay away from these boards. To say to myself, "well at least I'm finally out of this hellish cycle of disease and now I can move on." But something tells me I better stick around for a while to figure out just how I got myself into a mess like this to begin with, and why it took 13 years and affair for me to finally reclaim my life.
You are a wise woman, HurtingAgain, and I predict you're going to be just fine.
I know uncovering the truth about the depths of your husband's addiction and depravity is tremendously hurtful, but knowing the truth will help set you free and will allow you an opportunity to start living the life you deserve, so one day you'll come to believe that this discovery was a good thing. Sometimes gifts come wrapped in strange packages. I predict this is the best gift you've received in the last 13 years.
Hugs to you. I know it's painful.
And, Transformie, you cracked me up with this, girl:
One good act of revenge will go a long way.