wonderful point Zbear and i fully "get it". it's never been said to me that way and makes perfect sense! of course (hitting self on head). I was always making jokes about AH being 60 going on 16 and i guess i wasn't far from the truth. He is like a child and i see why now. not that i want to do anything about it...nooooo thank you, but it does help me remain detached and not feel responsible for anyone but myself. I remember those days with my teenagers, only too well....i never thought i'd live through it, but i did and they did too! haha....thanks for that explanation. I do okay as long as i can put the puzzle together a little bit and that is just what you did for me, thank you! Yet another reason why it is important for me to get out of the way and that is just fine with me.