you are right and it really is so sad to see such a broken human being, or the remnants of the human i once knew. i also am working so hard not to dwell on the act and find myself trying to figure out what caused this. so stupid of me because i know there is no reason and i can't make rational sense out of irrational behavior. the good side is that it helps motivate me to continue packing and singing the song i pasted the link to above! it's so appropriate. I am looking forward to a quiet morning because i know he has an appointment, and even though he is not living in the house, but next door in his studio, he has to use some of the amenities here so i have to share and hope that will be okay. we both own this home and so unless he is having a lucid day, i can't really force him to leave, though, if i feel unsafe I will not hesitate to call the law and have them take him away. thank goodness that has not happened yet. here is to a day of packing, patience, and peace.