The Al Anon meeting was at 9:15 AM, not PM...
I'm grateful I found this forum on the Internet yesterday. It has been a heckuva couple of days, and I need to get it off my chest.
My wife and I have been married for 7 years. She was working and sober when we got married, and we had a great relationship. At least I thought so at the time. We were already engaged, and she informed me that she was pregnant. Turns out she quit taking her medicine 5 months previous and neglected to inform me. Furious through all the BS excuses, I married her.
That was one of many manipulations over the past 7 years.
She quit working one day without discussion. Somehow, I had to make up the budget shortfall. Being "responsible" to a "fault", I made up the shortfall when the economy was good.
She quit going to meetings, withdrew and isolated herself. I scratched my head because I didn't understand.
I was faaaaarrr too busy for Al Anon meetings. After all, why should I be punished. It was her problem
She eventually started drinking again, and abusing prescription medication. I thought that perhaps we could control it if we just set up some ground rules (I kind of laugh as I write that part, but I swear it's true).
She tried to quit drinking. Taking her to the hospital for withdrawal was really fun for the whole family.
Some friends invited us out for the fourth of July. My son got to watch me catch his mom before should could complete her face plant, and see how strong I was as I carried her out to the car. About 1/4 mile... Oh, I also stayed up all night with her so she didn't choke on her vomit. It was really bad, but since I had started going to some Al Anon meetings, I suddenly started to understand what detachment meant. Believe it or not, I actually started to smile with my revelation.
She remembered nothing the next day.
One more bounce on the "bottom" and she finally went to rehab. We came up with a great aftercare program for her too. I just wanted my girl back.
I think she went to 3 meetings in 5 weeks.
I was at a conference in town over the weekend. Still back in the evenings. I noticed a familiar energy with her on Saturday and Sunday night. Naturally, I was suspicious.
Unfortunately, I was right. She stole some prescription meds from some friends and replaced them some other meds. Our friend needed her medicine and thought the pills looked different. She had started googling the pills when my wife coped to what she did, and a few other things. BTW - our friend is nursing an infant.
I am so grateful I found this forum
I'm tired, but resolute.
The blessing in facing challenges is that it presents me with the opportunity to grow into the person I need to be. All things are possible through God.
I told my wife that I want her out of the house. There was no ambiguity or room for misinterpretation. Of course, I had to remind her... This will probably happen a few more times. I'm not flexible on this issue.
I'm not sure about our long term prospects, but I need her out right now. I will have a sane household for my son. Period. He deserves that, and he depends on me. And he alone has that right.
I'm tired, but resolute.
I am so grateful I found this forum
I can't change her. I am not responsible for her. I did not cause her behavior, and I can't save her. I can only take care of my son and myself.
Thank you all for your many postings on this forum. I have learned through reading what works for you.
I am so far from perfect. I have so much to learn. I am so happy with progress to my own serenity.
I am also very grateful that I have finally come to the realization that I need recovery too. This disease is so seductive at times that I didn't realize how much it had affected me until I 1) reached my "bottom" right before she went to rehab and 2) had her out of the house for 5 weeks. The contrast in my life was staggering (no pun intended).
Thank you for reading if you made it this far
I go to Al Anon meetings now. I just wish they would put am/pm on the schedule...
I'm tired, but resolute.
I am so grateful I found this forum
