Thread: In purgatory...
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Old 09-23-2010, 04:14 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
FormerDoormat
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Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 3,672
I'm getting a different vibe from the information shared here. First, I'd question the fact that he's been in AA for 20 years, but only has 2 years of sobriety. That tells me that he's probably had plenty of relapses in those 20 years, or he'd have 20 years of sobriety, right?

Second, you say you've been dating him for 1.5 years, so with 2 years of sobriety, that means that he began a relationship with you after only 6 months of sobriety. AA strongly recommends that recovering alcoholics be sober for 1 year before entering into or changing relationships. He clearly ignored that sage advice. Maybe he's not as serious about his sobriety as he claims.

And those dark periods where he disappears and has no contact with you could very well be binges instead of "me" time. His story doesn't add up to me.

My suspicions, of course, are based on my experience with attempting to have a relationship with an alcoholic, and for a time, a recovering alcoholic. And while I initially convinced myself otherwise, he certainly was no dream partner.
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