Thread: In purgatory...
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Old 09-23-2010, 04:05 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Babyblue
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Join Date: Apr 2010
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I found my ABF doing that as well. It is part of having to have some space to find balance in their life. Too much of anything to an addict can cause unhealthy obsession which can trigger the desire to use. He explained from the beginning that it had nothing to do with me but I still took it personally. Hard not to when you really care about someone.

Unfortunately in my case, he relapsed. It is a huge learning experience when you go from a consistent and wonderful connection to dealing with someone who is suddenly very erratic and self destructing. So, what I'm trying to say is let him take ALL the time he needs; his sobriety depends upon it. If you have not been through a relapse with him, consider yourself very fortunate. When you find yourself being sad and missing him, remind yourself that it is to the benefit of the relationship that he does this. Maybe use that time to reconnect with old friends, pamper yourself, indulge in the things you love. It is about finding ways to pass time that are enriching to you.

Some time away from him isn't a dark period. A dark period is when you have no idea where he is and when you do find him he is not the same person. He is despondent, depressed and just a general mess due to the drinking. Witnessing that is truly the dark period. Enjoy what you have!

Last edited by Babyblue; 09-23-2010 at 04:07 PM. Reason: left out a point
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