In my opinion I would rather be told than lied to. Your recovery stands a better chance of being successful if you can be honest with her. To be honest- if I had ever once heard the words "I am an alcoholic" from my AH I would probably be still working though things with him now but at the one and only point he did seek help - he completely shut me out. He didn't even want me in the house when the guy came round for an initial interview - I ended up agreeing to stay out of the way. I can't tell you how much it hurt to be shut out like that when I really wanted things to work out for us.