i just want to add that what appears to you to be living a life free of responsibility is really living consumed with demons that we should never have to experience, IMHO. i see that if i take the time to make healthy, positive choices for myself then i am far better off, even when i am responsible for everything myself, then being the person who is addicted to alcohol and has no free will. It is best to let him burn his own bridges and cause his own trouble......then you can not be held responsible.you have enough to deal with and you are the one that has the freedom to deal with it. You, really are the lucky one. i hope you can see that! good luck. i've walked that path too...and it has taken me this long to see those things..i finally woke up! I AM the lucky one! my AH is still consumed with addiction, i pity him.