I was living with my ABF. I moved in on the condition that he stop drinking and get help.
So, he went to AA meetings, sometimes twice a day, and he drank anyway, in secret, sometimes before meetings, sometimes after, before he came home.
And I KNEW, and I smelled it, but he denied it, so vehemently. He made me feel bad for not trusting him. I wanted to believe him...He was going to meetings, reading the Big Book!!!!!
I began reading here, and I had been going to Al Anon, but I was in denial for a long time.
I believed my happiness was completely tied up in him. I was wrong.
When I finally said, "I know you are drinking and lying and sneaking, so if you are going to drink, go right ahead," he admitted it. He jumped at the chance. He said he hated going to AA, and would never go back. Once I removed the fact that I would leave if he drank, then he just drank right in front of my face.
I left shortly after, because it turned out, it really was a deal breaker for me.
Trust your gut. I almost lost my mind trying to believe anything that was different from what I knew deep inside was true.
Al anon has helped me a lot. I hope you will stay here. So many great people with so much to share.
Take care of you.