I feel like that alot. My H always says "don't kick me when I'm down". Tough thing is he's always down. If he's up he certainly isn't around me. That's what I think about when I think I'm being hard on him. I remember the only reason he's even there and making me promises is because he's down without a fix and needs me to help him or give him sympathy. I don't get any in return though. the moment he gets his fix he's back to the same old same old.