HEAVY is just the word memphis.
Children are a game changer. And Fetal Alcohol Syndrome is real and devestating.
I do not trust an active alcoholic to tell me the truth about their drinking. After I read Under the Influence I developed a profound respect for what a momumental effort is required by the alcoholic to find recovery, That compulsion to drink is so strong - stronger than ANYTHING: than love of family, than love of health, of baby's health, of self-respect, of ANYTHING.
Please do mention her drinking habits to her doctor - don't let her minimize how often or how much she drinks. Most of us discover at some point that the drinking we see with our own eyes is only the tip of the iceberg.
Maybe print her out some info on FAS. A shift to recovery at anytime is marvelous for an A, but right now the focus for me would be on just no drinking for 9 months to prevent birth defects.
And yet, you can only control what you can control -- it is so hard!! Looking forward to other's responses -- stay strong memphis - keep posting - we're all here for YOU!
peace-
B