Hey Kbebe, My brother sounds like your son. I wish I could help more but there is a thread that deals with this exact thing on Sober Recovery.
Scroll Down to SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information > New to Addiction and Recovery?
Newcomer's Daily Support Threads. Friends and Family of Substance Abusers.
There will be lots of people who can give you support and advise. Hope it helps.
Good Luck and my heart goes out to you.