Westbank: Hugs to you. So sorry you are in this position. My divorce from AH was final about a month ago and these 2 winners must be identical twins. Please know that you deserve to be treated wonderfully, even if it is how you treat yourself. He knows that you know his demons, and it's getting more difficult for him to deny them with you around. Ditto on having a girlfriend while pretending to work on the marriage. Ditto he drinks because he doesn't want to come home to you. This twin of my XAH has to put it on everyone else...otherwise he might have to look in the mirror, and that is just too painful.
Please take care of you and know that anger is not required for YOU to move on. Mine has turned to pity. It feels so good to get out from under the drinking and the blaming. And although your head knows what your heart isn't ready to hear yet, it will catch up.
Treat yourself as you deserve, as a precious child of your HP, and know that this is not your fault and is certainly not within your control.
Blessings.