thank you all!! my day is coming to an end and i have to say that posting this morning was so therapeutic for me. it gave me peace and strength throughout my day and i actually had a reasonable conversation with the alcoholic in my life. I am relieved that i can speak for myself without getting angry or defensive, for now anyway, and that he is hearing me and speechless, for the very first time. I have to say that i just don't know why i never could do this before, but it really doesn't matter because i'm doing it now and i feel like i'm experiencing some sort of rebirth!! now to work out the logistics of it all....but i know it will all work out! i am apartment hunting and finding some great places for my daughter to look at for me. i just "feel" that everything is going to fall into place as the time gets closer and I can't wait. It is a huge relief that my days are not about him anymore...they are about me.....only me and my plans and my journey! it feels really good....sorta lonely but that is not even bad, because i've been used to spending so much time alone since the AH works out of town quite a bit so i'm used to being by myself...i feel fortunate about that! I can't wait to play Barbies whenever i want with my grandaughter...did i mention that i still love Barbie? well, i do and i'm not ashamed to admit it!! hahaha.....what a winter i have in store. i used to hate the cold and now i'm looking forward to the snow...imagine? how things change. today is a good day....i feel like the song by Ingrid Michaelson, Be Okay....here is the song and lyrics:
INGRID MICHAELSON - BE OK LYRICS