steve1840

slowly i am gaining the strength to step aside. it is a process though and i am still seeing my addict somewhat regularly. on her own she has been going to a church that provides meals and someone to talk to. she found out that there is a place in ny that may have a bed available and that made her very excited. i see that she is tired of the life, but not so much as not to use. the recurring problem is that she has to get through a detox program first. the bigger problem is that there are so few options. she went to one last month that provides charity care, but she cannot go back there for six months. the other one has no funding and it may take a week for a bed. by the time she is out the bed might not be available at the rehab. i am keeping my fingers crossed something can happen really soon as i believe she is wanting to go. it is unfortunate that there are not places that addicts can go to immediately. they have moments of clarity and are willing to try, but there is no place to turn. even the frre places like salvation army are not so easy for a homeless person to get into. the catchwith that place was they need to test clean. to get clean they need detox. detox provides drugs that test dirty. they cannot get in for another week until they are clean. they are not adjusted or able to live that way for a week with no structure and go back to the streets. i know there are those who cna do it, but i think the majority cannot. i think there are different bottoms people can experience. my friend has hit a bottom wherein she wants the help, but not the bottom where she can do it on her own. i dont think many can do it on their own. its like the disappointment of not getting in triggers the impulse to use and it becomes a downward spiral.

as for me, i am ready to detach if she does not try to get clean, but now that i see her trying and excited about this place, my fear is that there will be alag and she will continue to use until then. i guess i have to let her do her thing and hope something turns up soon.