Need advice
or thoughts, or...something.
My BF was/is an alcoholic. He quit drinking earlier this year.
Shortly after he quit he started drinkign here and there wihout telling me, I found out and was angry.
he quit ttally again. He's supposedly been sober from around March or April of this year.
We broke up in between there, for reasons unrelated to alcohol.
Mid-August we got back together. For about 1 week things were great. From that point on he'd come over and he'd smell like, what I thought, was beer. I didn't say anything right away. I used to come here before and remember words from other posters and chapters from my book on co-dependancy and figured...just let him do what he's got to do.
It kept occuring. One night he came over and was acting odd, of course he smelled like beer...but again, I think due to wishful thinking, thought...it can't be, he can't be, he knows I'll leave if he's drinking again, there's no way!
So, 2 weekends ago we go away with his family, my kids etc.
he didn't spend too much time with me and the children. (2 of which are his, and 2 were his niece and nephew) He spent a large portion of his time with his Mother and step-father, sister and her husband....all of whom drink. A few times he had come back smelling of beer.
Combined with the lack of respect for me that weekend, I recently brought the whole thing up to him. How I was angry, and that he's been coming around smellig of booze.
he says there is NO WAY he could smell like beer because he doesn't drink. he said if he drinks he'll die, and that there is no way he smelled like it. he also said that he cannot even stand the SMELL of beer anymore! He said that 99% of the time my gut is right but that this time I am wrong. he seems VERY adament that he is not drinking anything! He said that obviously he is eating something that is making this occur.
He came over last night and asked me to smell his breath I did....and it smelled like nothing...just the usual.
he still swears he's not drinking.....here's the thing.....I don't believe him.
I want to believe him, I want to move past this. But...he knows that that is my breaking point. That combined with him lying about it is a HUGE deal breaker for me, and he knos this. Which gives him every reason to lie. He'll lose me!
So my question is: Has anyone ever heard of an alcoholic quitting and then not being able to stand the smell of the very thing they were addicted to for over 20 years?
Does this sound fishy to anyone else?