Originally Posted by
Gearhead 
At her request, I don't freely discuss her condition with the teenagers anymore although I refuse to deny it as she would prefer. At this point nobody talks about it anymore.
Attending Ala-teen for the kids would be worth trying. You and the kids can continue with the plan to help each other regardless of her participation.
Originally Posted by
Gearhead So, since she is content with this situation, what is her motivation to get well? I can't control her finances since she makes more than I do. What I am reading here tells me to just take a "hands off" approach. I am re-adjusting to this as the new norm. Why would she want to stop?
Are your finances currently separate? Are you working to that end? The "hands off" aproach is not meant to persuade her to live her life differently, it's to help you live your life differently.
Here's a good read on the subject that helped me.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...l-problem.html