This "enabler" role seems to be a fine line. We are supposed to be passive in our role as significant others because trying to help only upsets us more with no motivational affect on the alcoholic. As said previously, I don't keep alcohol here any longer. If she passes out (she says falls asleep) in the chair, I leave here there to find her way to bed hours later with a sore back. At her request, I don't freely discuss her condition with the teenagers anymore although I refuse to deny it as she would prefer. At this point nobody talks about it anymore. We have had the conversations, and the obligatory apologies from her, and we just don't go there anymore. Incidently, her next day remorse is limited to a window of about one minute if at all.
So, since she is content with this situation, what is her motivation to get well? I can't control her finances since she makes more than I do. What I am reading here tells me to just take a "hands off" approach. I am re-adjusting to this as the new norm. Why would she want to stop?