Hi Exhausted and welcome to SR
If you think he is drinking too much then he probably is. If its becoming a problem for you, then he definitely has a drinking problem at the very least. The fact that he has been to AA alone suggest he reckonises that he has a problem stopping and even though he may loose you he continues to drink. You are not over-reacting but you are reacting to your husbands drinking and allowing your life to revolve around him and his drinking, all perfectly normal and understandable.
This is how it started for me with my AH of 22 years. His drinking was a problem for me because I too would worry about coming home from work wondering what mood he would be in, the feeling of treading on eggshells. I began by asking him very nicely if he would at least please try to cut down his drinking as his moods upset me and made me frightened of him and his outbursts. I told him that I loved the sober husband but didnt particulary like the drinking husband as he was no fun to be around. My AH was unable to cut down and the day after many of these conversations he would go out and buy another crate of beer. I then had the converstation with him that I felt as though he was sticking two fingers up at me and the marriage - he still continued to drink. Finally I gave him the choice - me or beer and he chose beer over our 22yr marriage and me. This was when someone suggested that I try Al-anon and when the 'lightbulb' moment happened for me and I realised my husband was an alcholic.
Al-anon has been really good for me, its somewhere to go to get away from your husband and his drinking for one evening and mix with 'nice' people. Sometimes you come away with some words of wisdom too.
I really think Al-anon could help you to sort out your emotions, feelings and get your own head in a space whereby you can make an informed descision about what you want for your future. Al-ateen would also be good for your boys who are at a very impressional age and they might still be young enough to want to go. My then 18yr old daughter came with me to Al-anon but didnt really take to it but found seeing a psychotherapist extremely useful. She moved out of home a few weeks ago because she was unable to live with her alcoholic dad anymore and was tired of walking on eggshells and scared to come home.
However well you have tried to hide it, I am sure your boys have picked up the 'vibes' around your husband and his drinking and it does effect them so it would be important for them to have an idependant outlet to discuss their own feelings with. As I said, my daughter is now very switched on about alcoholism and understanding that her dads behaviours, especially towards her had nothing at all to do with her which is important for her own self-esteem and future relationships.
Keep reading and posting and welcome once again.