Was in a small group fellowship years ago, when I was young. There was an older couple in our fellowship. He was quiet with a dry sense of humor --- and a recovering alcoholic. She was bubbly and outgoing. Something she said to me once always stuck in my mind. She said she used to work so hard to cover up for John, to protect his and HER public image because his behavior as an alcoholic mortified her. Then one day she realized that nobody judged her on his behavior. Her point to me was that other people judge us for ourselves so I must have had an issue at the time.