Just some thoughts about where I am at.
I have been separated from AH just over a month and do not have any intentions of reuiniting with him. ... so here is where I am now
I grieve for the loss of my marriage but I do not miss that man
I hurt for the shattered dreams but I embrace the absence of drama
I question the things I have done but I no longer analyse the things he has said or done
I forgive myself for reacting to his behaviour and I forgive him for being an alcoholic
I take each day as it comes and I deal with each wave of emotion on its own merit
I still feel frightened of the future but I remember that there are worse things than being alone
I do things for me
I do not expect to be happy - yet sometimes happiness drops by for a while. The rest of the time I move between sadness and serenity.
I am starting to gain a concept of a higher power though I have been an atheist for years - but I keep finding myself saying lines from here to myself when my mind starts down a train of thought that leads me to AH.