Hello Westbank. Welcome to our family.
A few weeks later he takes our sons out for drinks and tells them i want him to quit drinking but that our relationship had problems and that I needed to change as well.
This is exactly what happened in my marriage when my AH started his affair.
I had been telling him to stop drinking or it was over.
He went out and found someone to drink with him.
Fortunatly, for me, I busted him and knew right away what he was doing. I didn't have to weed through his lies and blameshifting. It was brutal though. I through his stuff in the front yard, called the police screaming. It was ugly.
When my AH started his affair, he shifted the "power" to himself because I was so devestated that I would have done anything to keep him, after knowing for years that he wasn't going to stop drinking and I didn't want him anymore.
It's the most selfish trick he's ever played. That was 2.5 years ago.
I"m glad you threw him and his stuff out. What a pig, telling you that he'd wished you dead. He's lucky he didn't get a skillet to his head.
He's not your friend right now. Not even your husband. He may look like the man you married, but he's like a zombie version and believe me, he'll come back the minute you gain some self respect and look like you're moving on and want you back.
Here, you'll find tons of support and answers to the "how do I get this pain to stop?" question. The community greeters will be along soon, they've always got tons of helpful suggestions.
I"d also suggest going here
SurvivingInfidelity.com - Support for those affected by Infidelity
to discuss the cheating. But I come here exclusively for the alcoholism support and my own codependence support. This place has saved me life.
I"m glad you're here, but sorry to hear about the betrayal your husband has handed you.
The good news is, when my AH did this, it launched me onto am escalated path of self discovery and healing. Today I'm happier and healthier than I have ever been, really.