The manipulation thing is what any two people do when healthy communication has broken down. Desperate acts by desperate people. The drinker needs to manipulate to continue to drink (after losing the job, the place to live etc) and those that love them manipulate to either keep that person in our lives (against our better judgement) or thinking we can fix them.
BTW I am writing all this for myself
If it rings true for anyone else, not sure but that is my take on my own manipulative tendencies.