At this sight we speak from experience, we share our experience and our strength. Weird about the lady threatening to report yourposts to child services... I've never heard of that happening before. Ever. Unless it was a set-up by a meth-head or a crack-head boyfriend. Be careful sweetie.
Abuse isn't always physical... it can be verbal. And most experts would consider putting holes in walls as a form of intimidation - which is abuse. My ex didn't hit me (except once...) but his drug induced disapearances and his lies and our crazy fights - those things made me doubt my sanity. It was definitely an unhealthy environment. Eventually, after talking to people, after thinking about it for a long time, I realized that I didn't have to put up with that kind of behavior. I decided I deserved better. I decided my son deserved better. I decided that he wasn't treating me with human dignity and that was abusive. And we had great times together - otherwise I never would have stayed as long as I did... and my son loves his father. God he misses him. But I have no doubt that my choice to protect my son from his irrational behavior, disapearances and drug addiction is the right choice.
You sound like a smart girl and I'm sure that you do the best you know how to do for you and your daughter. Good luck with the job interview. At least then you'll have more money and maybe that will lessen the stress you feel. Definitely put some of it away for that rainy day. You never know when you will need it.