Oh yeah he's an alcoholic if he's drinking vanilla.......I forget there is fight.....flight.....and there is FREEZE. Walking in the country helps me. Do not engage with him if he is using. I make amends if I was truly wrong. We are human. Say the Serentiy prayer. Ask God to help you not be angry, or overreact just for today. I love that Alanon bookmark.....help me; not be afraid just for today, have a program, study, be agreeable, be happy, live through this day only,have quiet time, adjust myself to what is, just for today. The detachment flier says; we learn not to suffer from the actions of others, not be used or abused, not do for them what they could do, not manipulate situations or others or cover up for them ,not create a crisis , if it is in the natural course of events not prevent a crisis.....Focus on ourselves.....allow them to experience the consequences of their actions.