Originally Posted by
jackthedog 
Tonight my son wasn't home and after seeing my counselor today, I decided to confront my AH about how he has been treating our son. He didn't even seem to remember what the situation was that he called his son a jackass and didn't seem to think it was a bad thing to do. I backed down from him as he yelled at me, making all of this seem as though it is all me. He even said that the night he came home and didn't say anything to his son, that "we" didn't say hi to him either. He is not going to leave until he finds a decent place of his own. He says he only smokes pot once a month and that he doesn't drink that much. He only drank about 4-5 beers tonight and stayed home. Maybe it is all me, maybe I am overreacting, maybe it just seemed easier to think of him as an alcoholic so I wouldn't think it was me. But yet, I know he does over drink and he is emotionally toxic to me. But he won't leave yet. He has never apologized for anything, now what do I do? I feel so bad.
i copied your post so i respond properly. please remember that he is bullying you...and that bullies are truly cowards...he is attempting to justify his behavior, but has NO RIGHT to make all the decisions concerning the household...if you force his hand, you may get rid of him sooner. He has no right to yell at you so you back down, again this is a bullying tactic.
If he won't get out, stop doing for him....leave him to attempt to care for himself....it will finally dawn on him that you are serious.
my first Xhusband was a terrible bully....he finally left after i had to go to the police after he attempted to choke me to in front of our then 5 year old daughter.....