Chaplains, psychological counselors, doctors, etc are all obliged to keep information shared with them confidential.
Yes, ask to make sure YOU feel safe - but I am so glad to hear you are willing to go speak to someone! Alcoholism is a family disease - it makes everyone in the family nuts and sick, and it thrives in denial and isolation - in fact part of the alcoholic dynamic that is quickly set up whether you are in the military or not - is "this needs to be a secret - we don't talk about that elephant in the living room!"
My trust issues ran deep from growing up with an A father. There is a lot of good healing in your future if you can accept help and embrace recovery for yourself and your kids, and you said it perfectly yourself:
I know now that I have to get myself better too, no matter what AH chooses to do.
Keep posting - stick around - collectively here on SR we have seen everything - you are NOT alone!
Peace & (((hugs)))
B
P.S. Just wanted to encourage you to breathe and take one day at a tiime - if you focus on these thoughts:
the choices AH makes are going to seriously affect the lives of myself and my children
you can quickly feel overwhelmed and helpless and defeated! The choices you can control and that can result in a bright stable future for you and your kiddos are the choices YOU make.
So, Easy Does It! Baby steps!