Hi Hurtingagain-
I once told him I wish he would hit me so it would make it easier to leave. How's that for sick thinking?
Pretty sick.
But a good statement to bring up to a counselor - I mean if that doesn't get a session going in a solid deep direction I don't know what would!!
(((((hugs)))) Yes, all our As are lovable and wonderful when they are not drinking. But those crumbs are not worth all the suffering and damage that is being done riding the roller coaster just to get to those brief moments.
But your life and your kids lives are worth fighting for and worth getting to a healthy place!
The past is gone. You are free in THIS moment.
Peace,
B