When are you going to find your bottom Steve? All this focus on her, where does your life, your feelings, your needs fit in? Aren't you important?
Is there a "you"? Or are you just a reflection of her?
I feel bad for you because you are on a roller coaster to hell my friend. But until you can see it for what it is nothing anyone says is going to make a difference.
Your going to have to hit your rock bottom, I just hope it happens sooner than later. Take it from someone who has been there, I know what I'm talking about.
Hugs,
Teggie