Hi Dibs and
to SR. I'm so glad you found this place. There's lots of support to be had here.
I just wanted to speak to a few things you said:
"He's now on hot pursuit of me, text messages cards and declarations but actually that kind of puts me off because that's old "fix it quickly and get back to drinking" behaviour and this aint gonna be a quick process."
You're bang on here. Trust your instinct. My XAH (ex alcoholic husband) also seemed to get off on that exciting "post argument post revelation of everything that's been hidden deep down inside" period. He'd romance me all over again. For about 2-3 days. Then it was back to the usual, but with an added "Don't you appreciate all I've done for you, you ungrateful /$%?&±!".
Since you're going to Al-Anon, you can understand when I say...step AWAY from the alkie, focus on you and the girls, and just wait. There's no danger in not making a move right?
Al Anon last night made me think that although I love him deeply maybe one day I should open the door to someone who can look after me for a change
I agree, but perhaps, before this happens, it's time to close all doors, and spend some time with yourself, healing the wounds caused by your AH's deception and addiction.
And at least I have my beautiful girls and my good friends. And the support of people like you guys who understand how it all feels is a big help.
You're bang on here.
Keep posting and reading. SR is always open.