Wow. You sound so much like me a few years ago. I could write a book to you in regards to just that last post. But, instead I will just say, ask your counselor if he/she has experience with codependence and addiction. If so, you are in good hands. If not, find another counselor.
I'm living proof that life can be sooooo much better post-alcoholic-relationship. You cannot change the past, but if you learn the lessons from it, your future is indeed bright.
L