I know most of those answers.
It got worse gradually.
I thought things would gradually get better.
When things were good they were absolutely amazing.
I don't meet many men that really interest me. He has many of what I consider desirable qualities, more than I have ever found all in one package before. So I've always valued him as special. He's like a rare gem, except one that's been exposed to massive radiation and is now toxic. Pretty to look at, deadly to hold. I feel like it's the universe's joke on me that I found this incredible man but he has this enormous flaw.
I don't think I'll ever find another guy who measures up to him. Enter denial. I'll just try to ignore this big problem of his.
I've watched my mom and other women who were middle-aged and thought they'd meet someone new but then never did. I've seen these horrifying marriage statistics for women of my age, level education, etc. I know there's a good chance I'll end up alone and I was really hoping I'd have a man to share my life with. My divorce was a decade ago now. It was actually a good marriage and I never should have left. My ex was my best friend. I really miss that.
I didn't try nearly hard enough when I was married. In fact, I was a pretty awful wife. I didn't want to make the same mistake again and not try, not value the man I'm with.
And then there's the "I already put ____ years into this and did this and gave up that and want a return on my investment".
Doesn't help that even after seven years we have an enormous sexual desire for each other. That makes it very hard to resist seeing each other.