I have a counseling appt. for this Friday.
He's still loving and affectionate with his two teenage daughters. He's not going to win father of the year, but all in all he does ok. He's actively trying to be a good dad and his girls love him. He even took joint custody after his divorce so he's not just a weekend dad. He's loving to his two dogs. He doesn't treat them as responsibly as he should (like they didn't get heartworm tested this year), but he is very affectionate with them. In fact he absolutely dotes on them.
So why me? If I got ANY affection at all it was small and far between. We're talking crumbs. I was at the bottom of his list of priorities and his favorite emotional punching bag. And he's nice to other people, polite, even caring, pulls off an excellent imitation of "human". For instance, he'll stop and help people with flat tires or car trouble. He listens to his ex-wife when she's upset about her fiance and he tries to be supportive. So why ME? Why am I the black sheep? This is one of the reasons I have taken it all so personally for so long. He's really good to his guy friends. He's got two buddies he's been friends with since high school and he really loves those guys. When you get down to it I'm the only one he's mean to. Pretty hard not to take that personally. When I look at all that I really question myself. Not only do I wonder what's wrong with me but I wonder if he ever loved me at all.