insides twisted
i am sorry i post so much or ask so much or seem not to get it sometimes. i have been brought to tears more than once in the past couple of days. i guess i do wish to control her choices. this might be the first time in my life i have felt so helpless, and knowing the consequences is devastating to me. i am not a weak man. it has taken considerable strength t ogo through this wit hher, but i need to conjure up a different kind of strength for me- and even for her.
i am so scared of letting her go. i am scared of her being out there and maybe feeling horrible about herself but not having the comfort of someone to go to. but i guess that is the consequence of her choices.
my older cousin is now turninh 49 in jail for the past 3 years, having been a hardcore addict for probably 30 years. my greatest fear in that my friend who is 30 does not get out of it all soon. my insides are twisted. i am afraid she will just loose herself more and more. my only hope is that she finds her bottom soon.