Phineas, something that helped me when I was in the phase you are in now, was to remember that if we were meant to be together, that we both needed to be healthy for it to happen. I could see the dance that we did as alcoholic and codependent. If he did get sober, and I was still codependent, it would never work. It was time to accept the grief and really deal with my own problems. What led me to accept this kind of life in the first place? Why did I stay so long, give so many chances? Why, when he left, did I feel like I had nothing? Why did I lose my identity in the relationship? Who the hell was I? It's hard. A month is nothing, by the way. You are exactly where you should be. Be patient with yourself. You've experienced a loss. It's OK if you're not completely over it yet. I would echo what others have said about no contact. You're not helping yourself by continuing to rip off the scab.